A Kinda True Story
This is the finale of our summer special. The second part of Lucian of Samosata's novel “A True Story.” While the first part is filled with space travels and battles on distant planets, this part will deal with other topics. What was Homer's true nationality, why Pythagoras didn’t like his victory meal, and if Herodotus were sent to the Greek version of hell for his accounts?
Lucian of Samosata, a second-century CE author, penned what some consider the first science fiction novel in history, "A True Story." Lucian vividly describes space travel, intergalactic battles, alien beings, and even alien abductions in this short story. However, rather than attempting to write a sci-fi epic, Lucian's work is a satirical critique of contemporary travel books and historical accounts. In this episode, we'll continue to look at Lucian's imaginative narrative and see how it gives us a unique window into the ancient world.
Welcome to Digging Up Ancient Aliens. The podcast where we examine strange claims about alternative history and ancient aliens in popular media. Do their claims hold water to an archeologist, or are there better explanations out there?
We are now on episode 67, and I am Fredrik, your guide into the world of pseudo-archaeology. I am still out traveling, but today, we will finish our story with Lucian of Samoa. If you don’t remember the story we’re dealing with, it is one of the earliest intended descriptions of space travel. So, last time, we saw Lucian sailing in space, participating in a space battle, and getting eaten by a whale. After realizing that creatures lived inside the whale, Lucian and his men killed them all. So we pick things back up again inside a giant whale.
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Now that we have finished our preparations, let's dig into the episode.A True Story - Part 2
Based on Francis Hickes's translation and updated for modern languages by Fredrik Trusohamn
After a while, we grew tired of living inside the whale, and our prolonged stay began to bother us. So, we started brainstorming ways to free ourselves from this captivity. Our first idea was to dig a hole through its right side and escape that way. We worked hard on this, but after digging about a kilometer deep and realizing it was pointless, we gave up.
Next, we decided to set the wood on fire, figuring that it would definitely kill the whale, making our escape easy. We put this plan into action and started the fire at its tail. The fire burned for seven days and nights before the whale even felt it. By the eighth and ninth days, we noticed the whale was getting sick; it gaped more sluggishly than usual and closed its mouth quicker.
By the tenth and eleventh days, the whale was seriously sick and started to stink. On the twelfth day, we realized, almost too late, that unless we propped open its jaws the next time it gaped, we risked being trapped forever inside its dead body and perishing miserably.
We propped the whale's mouth with long wooden beams to keep it from closing. Then, we started to prepare our ship, stocked up on fresh water and other necessities, with Scintharus acting as our pilot. The following day, the whale died. We navigated our boat through the passages in its body, secured cables around its teeth, and gradually lowered it into the sea. We climbed onto the whale's back, offered sacrifices to Neptune, and camped by our monument of triumph for three days since there was no wind.
On the fourth day, we set sail again and encountered many corpses from the recent sea battle. Our ship bumped into these bodies, which we measured with great curiosity. We sailed for several days in calm weather until a bitter north wind brought a severe frost. The sea froze solid, not just on the surface but to a depth of about 730 meters. We had to abandon our ship and walk on the ice.
Unable to bear the cold, we followed Scintharus's idea and used hatchets and other tools to carve out a large cave in the ice. We sheltered there for forty days, made fires, and ate the plentiful fish we found while digging. When our supplies ran low, we returned to our frozen ship. We set it upright, raised the sails, and slid smoothly over the ice as if on water. On the fifth day, the weather warmed, the ice melted, and the sea returned to water.
We sailed about 55 kilometers until we reached a small deserted island. We replenished our fresh water, which was running low, and hunted two wild bulls with our weapons. These bulls had horns growing under their eyes, a feature Momus had suggested.
Next, we sailed into a sea of milk and discovered a white island full of grapevines. This island turned out to be a large, well-pressed cheese, around 4.6 kilometers in size. The grapevines produced not wine but milk. In the middle of the island, as indicated by an inscription, was a temple dedicated to Galatea, one of Nereus's daughters.
During our stay, the island provided us with food, and we drank the milk from the grapes. The island was said to be ruled by Tyro, the daughter of Salmoneus, who received this reward from Neptune after her death.
We rested on this island for five days. On the sixth day, we set sail again, aided by a gentle breeze, with the sea calm and still. By the eighth day, we were no longer sailing in milk but in clear, salty blue water. We spotted many men running on the sea. They looked just like us in every way except for their feet, which were made of cork. This peculiar feature gave them the name "Phellopodes."
We were amazed to see them stay afloat and move so confidently on the water. They approached and greeted us in Greek, explaining they were heading to their homeland, Phello. They ran alongside us for a while before turning off in their own direction, wishing us a safe and prosperous journey.
Soon after, we saw many islands. To our left was Phello, the city they were traveling to, on a massive, round piece of cork. Further off to the right, we saw five other large, mountainous islands with burning fires. Directly ahead of us was a flat, spacious island about 92 kilometers away. As we neared it, a wonderfully fragrant breeze, reminiscent of the scents described by Herodotus from Arabia the Happy, wafted over us. The air was filled with a delightful mix of roses, daffodils, gillyflowers, lilies, violets, myrtles, bay leaves, and vine blossoms.
Delighted by the smell and hopeful for better fortunes after our long journey, we approached the island. It had numerous large, safe harbors and clear rivers flowing into the sea, surrounded by meadows, herbs, and musical birds singing both on the shore and in the trees. A gentle breeze stirred the woods, creating a continuous, pleasant melody similar to wind instruments in a quiet place. There was also a harmonious sound like a joyful banquet, with some playing music, some praising it, and others clapping along.
Enchanted by all this, we entered the harbor, moored our ship, and disembarked, leaving Scintharus and two companions to guard it. As we walked through a lovely meadow, we were met by the island's patrols, who captured us and bound us with garlands of roses, their strictest form of restraint. They led us to their governor, Rhadamanthus, explaining that we were on the island of the blessed. We were taken to be judged and placed fourth in line among those awaiting judgment.
The first trial that day involved Ajax, the son of Telamon, and whether he should be allowed to join the Society of the Heroes. The objections against him were his madness and his suicide. After much debate, Rhadamanthus ruled that Ajax should be placed under the care of Hippocrates, the physician from Cos, and treated with hellebore. If he recovered his sanity, he would be admitted.
The second case was a dispute over Helen between Theseus and Menelaus. Rhadamanthus ruled the case in favor of Menelaus, citing the many labors and dangers he faced for Helen's sake. In contrast, Theseus had other wives, such as the Amazon and the daughters of Minos.
The third case was a matter of precedence between Alexander the Great and Hannibal of Carthage. Alexander was given preference, and his throne was placed next to Cyrus the Elder of Persia.
We were the fourth to appear. Rhadamanthus asked why we, as living men, had entered this sacred land. We recounted all our adventures in detail. After considering our story for a long time and consulting with the other judges, including Aristides the Just, Rhadamanthus finally spoke. He decreed that we would be held accountable for our curiosity and unnecessary travels after our deaths. For now, we were allowed to stay and feast with the Heroes for seven months, after which we had to leave.
Our rose garlands then fell off on their own, and we were released and led into the city to feast with the blessed.
The city was made entirely of gold and surrounded by a wall of emeralds, with seven gates carved from a single piece of cinnamon wood. The city's streets and all the ground within the walls were paved with ivory. The temples of the gods were constructed from beryl, and their large altars were made from whole pieces of amethyst, used for sacrifices. A river of the finest sweet ointment, 45 meters wide and deep enough to swim in, flowed around the city.
They had large bathhouses made out of glass and heated with cinnamon. Their bathtubs were filled with warm dew instead of water. Their only garments were made from purple cobwebs. They had no physical bodies but were mere shapes and forms. Despite being bodiless, they stood, moved, were intelligent, and could speak. Their souls appeared to wander in a bodily form; unless touched, one would think they had bodies, looking like upright shadows but not dark in color. No one aged there; they remained the same age as when they arrived. There was neither night nor clear day but a perpetual twilight, like the light just before sunrise. They experienced only one season, spring, with Zephyrus as the only wind.
The region was full of flowers and pleasing plants for shade. Vines bore fruit twelve times a year, once each month. Pomegranate and apple trees bore fruit thirteen times a year, twice in the month called Minous. Instead of wheat, their fields produced ready-baked loaves of bread, similar to mushrooms. Surrounding the city were 365 wells of water, an equal number of honey wells, and 500 wells of sweet ointment. They also had seven rivers of milk and eight rivers of wine.
They held their feasts outside the city in a field called Elysium, a pleasant meadow surrounded by dense woods that provided shade. Guests sat on beds of flowers and were served by the winds, except for the wine, which didn't need filling. Around the banquet area, large trees of clear, pure glass grew, with their fruit being drinking cups and other vessels of any shape or size. Each guest would gather one or two of these cups, which would instantly fill with wine for them to drink.
Instead of garlands, nightingales and other musical birds gathered flowers with their beaks from the nearby meadows. Flying over the guests, the birds scattered the flowers among them while chirping beautiful tunes.
They are anointed with sweet ointment in this manner: clouds draw the ointment from the fountains and rivers, and when these clouds settle over the heads of those at the banquet, the slightest breeze causes a gentle rain to fall on them, resembling dew. After supper, they enjoy music and singing. The most popular songs are verses from Homer, who is present and feasts among them, sitting just above Ulysses. The choirs consist of boys and virgins, directed and assisted by Eunomus the Locrian, Arion the Lesbian, Anacreon, and Stesichorus, who have been there since his reconciliation with Helen. Once they finish, a second choir of swans, swallows, and nightingales takes over. The forest resonates like wind instruments stirred by the breeze when they conclude.
Two wells near the banquet area add to their joy: one for laughter and the other for pleasure. Everyone drinks from these at the beginning of the feast, which ensures the entire time is spent in merriment and laughter.
I will tell you about the notable figures I saw there. All the demigods and all who fought against Troy were present except Ajax the Locrian, who they said was tormented in the region of the unrighteous. Among the barbarians were Cyrus the Elder and the Younger, Anacharsis the Scythian, Zamolxis the Thracian, and Numa the Italian. Also present were Lycurgus the Spartan, Phocion and Tellus the Athenians, and all the Wise Men, except Periander.
I saw Socrates, the son of Sophroniscus, chatting with Nestor and Palamedes. Nearby were Hyacinthus the Spartan, the handsome Narcissus, and Hylas, among other beautiful youths. Socrates seemed particularly fond of Hyacinthus, speaking with him more than anyone else. This behavior annoyed Rhadamanthus, who often threatened to banish Socrates from the island if he didn't stop his foolish jesting at their banquets. Plato was not present, as he was said to dwell in a city of his design governed by the laws he prescribed.
Aristippus and Epicurus were prominent because they were the most pleasant and friendly. Diogenes the Cynic had changed so much that he married Lais, the courtesan, and often got so drunk he would dance around wildly. Aesop the Phrygian served as their jester. Not a single Stoic was there, as they were busy climbing the heights of virtue. Chrysippus was reportedly not allowed to enter the island until he had purged himself with hellebore four times. The Academics wanted to come but were skeptical about the island's existence and reluctant to be judged by Rhadamanthus, having abolished all kinds of judgment. Many desired to go and followed those heading there, but their slothfulness made them turn back halfway.
These were all the notable men I saw there, with Achilles regarded as the best among them, followed by Theseus. As for their manner of intimacy and relationships, they coupled openly with both males and females without any shame. Only Socrates claimed his relationships with young men were platonic, but no one believed him. Hyacinthus and Narcissus openly admitted otherwise, despite Socrates' denials.
Women were shared among all men, and no one objected to this, making them the best Platonists in the world. Boys also willingly offered themselves to any man's pleasure without objection.
After spending two or three days like this, I took the opportunity to speak with the poet Homer. During our free time, I asked him about his origins, a topic that had long puzzled us. He said he himself was uncertain because some claimed he was from Chios, others from Smyrna, and many from Colophon. However, he revealed he was Babylonian, originally named Tigranes. The Greeks called him Homer when he lived among them as a hostage.
I also inquired about the disputed verses in his works, asking if they were indeed his. Homer confirmed they were all his, criticizing Zenodotus and Aristarchus, the grammarians, for their poor judgment. When I asked why he began his poem with "anger," he said it happened by chance, not by premeditation. I also questioned whether my new friend wrote the "Odyssey" before the "Iliad," as some believed, but Homer confirmed it was not. Regarding his alleged blindness, I soon realized it was untrue, as he clearly could see.
I often visited Homer with many questions, which he always answered freely. He especially enjoyed discussing a trial he won in court, where Thersites had sued him for mockery in his poem. Homer was acquitted, with Ulysses serving as his advocate.
Around this time, Pythagoras the Samoan joined us. He had undergone seven different lives and transformations, completing the cycles of his soul. The right half of his body was made entirely of gold. Everyone agreed he deserved a place among them but debated whether to call him Pythagoras or Euphorbus. Empedocles also arrived, his body scorched as if broiled on embers, but despite his pleas, he was not admitted.
As time passed, the day for the games of athletic prowess, called Thanatusia, approached. Achilles organized the games for the fifth time and Theseus for the seventh. A detailed explanation would take too long, so I'll highlight the main events. A Hercules descendant, Carus defeated Ulysses in wrestling and won the garland. The boxing match ended in a tie between Arius the Egyptian, who was buried at Corinth, and Epius. I don’t think there was any prize for the Pancratium, and I can't recall who won the running event; MMA and jogging have never been my cup of vine. Despite Homer's undisputed skill, the prize went to Hesiod for poetry. All prizes were garlands made of peacock feathers.
Once the games ended, we received news that the damned souls from the realm of the wicked had broken free, escaped their jailers, and were coming to attack the island, led by Phalaris the Agrigentine, Busyris the Egyptian, Diomedes the Thracian, Sciron, Pituocamptes, and others. Hearing this, Rhadamanthus arranged the Heroes in battle formation on the shore, led by Theseus, Achilles, and Ajax Telamonius, who had now regained his senses. They engaged in battle, and the Heroes emerged victorious, with Achilles displaying exceptional valor. And positioned on the right wing, Socrates showed himself to be a braver soldier than he had been in his lifetime, notably in the Battle of Delium. When the enemy charged, he neither fled nor changed expression. For his bravery, Socrates was awarded a beautiful, spacious garden in the city's suburbs, which he named Necracademia. There, he invited many to discuss philosophy.
We captured the defeated prisoners, bound them, and sent them back to face even harsher punishments. Homer documented this battle and gave me the manuscript as a keepsake to show my friends, though I later lost it along with many other things. However, I remember the first verse: "Tell me now, Muse, how the dead Heroes fought."
After their victory, it was customary for them to feast on boiled beans in celebration. Only Pythagoras abstained, sitting apart and missing the meal because he could not stand beans.
Six months had passed, and we were halfway through the seventh when a new situation arose. Cinyras, the son of Scintharus, a tall and handsome young man, had fallen deeply in love with Helena, and she felt the same about him. They exchanged looks and drinks during feasts, often left alone together, and wandered through the woods. As their affection grew, Cinyras planned to elope with Helena to one of the nearby islands, Phello or Tyroessa. He conspired with three of the boldest members of my crew but kept his father in the dark, knowing he would punish him.
One night, when I had fallen asleep at the feast, they seized their chance. They slipped away with Helena and onto the ship as quickly as possible. Menelaus awoke around midnight, discovered Helena was missing, and raised an alarm. He and his brother went to Rhadamanthus's court.
At dawn, scouts reported seeing a ship far out to sea. Rhadamanthus dispatched a vessel made from a single piece of asphodelus wood, crewed by fifty Heroes, to pursue them. The Heroes were so swift that they caught up by noon as the fugitives entered the Milky Ocean near Tyroessa, nearly escaping. We captured their ship, towed it back with a chain of roses, and brought it ashore.
Rhadamanthus interrogated Cinyras and his companions. They confessed there were no other conspirators. They were sentenced to be tied by their private parts and sent to the place of the wicked for torment after being scourged with rods made of mallows. Helena, ashamed and tearful, refused to show her face. We were also ordered to leave the country as our time was up. We were to depart the following day. I was deeply grieved, weeping bitterly at the thought of leaving such a wonderful place and becoming a wanderer again. They comforted me by saying I would return someday and showed me a chair and bed prepared for me among the elite.
I went to Rhadamanthus, asking him to reveal my future and guide me. He predicted that I would eventually return home after many travels and dangers, though he didn't specify when. He pointed to the five nearby islands and a sixth further away, explaining that the nearest ones were the islands of the ungodly, always burning with light fire. The sixth island was the island of dreams, and beyond that, the island of Calypso, which was out of sight. He told me that after passing these, I would reach a great continent opposite my homeland, face many hardships, encounter various nations, and meet men of inhuman conditions before finally reaching the other continent.
Rhadamanthus handed me a mallow root, instructing me to pray to it in my greatest perils. He also advised me never to stir the fire with a knife, eat lupins, or approach a boy over eighteen. Remembering these instructions would increase my chances of returning to the island.
We prepared to leave, feasting with the Heroes at the usual hour. The following day, I visited Homer, asking him to compose an epigram for me, which he did. I erected a beryl stone pillar near the harbor and inscribed the epigram. It read:
"Lucian, the gods' beloved, did once attain
To see all this, and then go home again."
After one more day, we set sail, accompanied by the Heroes. Ulysses discreetly handed me a letter for Calypso on the isle of Ogygia, ensuring Penelope didn't see. Rhadamanthus sent Nauplius, the ferryman, with us to ensure our safety if we landed on those islands, as we were on a different mission.
No sooner had we passed beyond the sweet-smelling area than we were hit by a horrid stench, like burning pitch and brimstone, with an unbearable scent as if people were being roasted on hot coals. The air became dark and murky, dripping with a pitchy dew. We also heard the crack of whips and the screams of the tormented. Although we didn't visit all the islands, we did land on one with this dreadful appearance: it was surrounded by steep, jagged rocks with no wood or water. We scrambled up the cliffs and followed a path overgrown with briars and thorns through a ghastly landscape. When we reached the prison and place of torment, we were amazed at the nature of the land, which produced no flowers but only swords and daggers. Surrounding it were several rivers: one of dirt, another of blood, and the innermost of burning fire. This fiery river was broad and impassable, flowing like water and churning like sea waves, filled with various fish—some as large as firebrands, others smaller like coals of fire—called Lychniscies.
There was only one narrow entrance, guarded by Timon of Athens, but with the help of Nauplius, we managed to get in. Inside, we saw many being tormented, both kings and commoners. Among them was Cinyras, tied by his private parts and suspended in the smoke. The worst torments were reserved for those who had lied and written falsehoods in their lifetimes, like Ctesias the Cnidian and Herodotus. Seeing this, I felt hopeful that I would never end up there, as I didn't recall ever telling a lie. We quickly returned to our ship, unable to endure the sight any longer, and bid farewell to Nauplius, sending him back.
Soon after, we approached the Isle of Dreams, a dim and elusive land, much like dreams themselves. The island seemed to recede as we neared it, appearing farther away than when we first saw it. Eventually, we reached it and entered the harbor called Hypnus, near the gate of ivory, where the temple of Alectryon stands. We landed late in the evening.
Upon entering the gate, we encountered many dreams of various forms. But first, let me describe the city, as no one else has provided a good description; even Homer only briefly mentioned it, with little detail.
The city is surrounded by a dense wood of extraordinarily tall poppies and mandragoras, home to countless owls—the only birds on the island. Nearby runs a river called Nyctiporus, and at the gates are two wells named Negretus and Pannychia. The city's high wall changes color like a rainbow and has four gates, not just two, as Homer mentioned. Two gates face the fields of sloth, one made of iron and the other of potter's clay, allowing passage for dreams that represent fear, blood, and cruelty. The other two gates face the harbor and the sea, one made of horn and the other of ivory, which is the one we entered through.
Upon entering the city, we saw the temple of the Night on the right, where the inhabitants revere Night and Alectryon above all gods. Alectryon also has a temple near the harbor. On the left stands the palace of Sleep, who is the sovereign king over all and has appointed two great princes to govern under him: Taraxion, the son of Matogenes, and Plutocles, the son of Phantasion.
In the center of the marketplace is a well, named Careotis, flanked by two temples: one of Falsehood and the other of Truth. Each temple has a private cell for its priests and an oracle, where Antiphon, the chief prophet and interpreter of dreams, presides. Sleep appointed Antiphon to this place of honor.
These dreams varied greatly in nature and shape. Some were long, beautiful, and pleasing, while others were short and deformed. Some appeared as golden and splendid, while others seemed poor and beggarly. Some had wings and monstrous forms, while others were grand, as if in a triumph, depicting kings, gods, and other notable figures.
Many of the dreams were familiar to us, having been seen by us before. They greeted us as old friends, lulled us to sleep, and entertained us with lavish feasts. They promised to make us kings and princes and took us home to show us our friends, only to return us the following day.
We spent thirty days and nights among them, sleeping and feasting until a sudden clap of thunder woke us all. Startled, we gathered provisions and set sail again. On the third day, we landed in Ogygia. During the journey, I opened the letter I was to deliver and read its contents:
"Ulysses to Calypso sends greetings. I want to inform you that after I departed from you on the vessel I hastily made, I suffered shipwreck and barely survived with the help of Leucothea, reaching the land of the Phaeacians. They sent me home, where I found many suitors wooing my wife and squandering my wealth. I killed them all but was later slain by my son Telegonus, whom I fathered with Circe. Now, I am in the island of the blessed, daily regretting my decision to leave you and forsake the immortality you offered. If I find the opportunity, I will slip away and return to you."
The letter also mentioned us, stating we should receive a warm welcome. Not far from the shore, I found the cave Homer described, and there was Calypso, busy with her wool. Upon receiving the letter, she wept bitterly but welcomed us warmly and treated us to a meal. She asked many questions about Ulysses and Penelope, wondering if she was as beautiful and modest as Ulysses often boasted. We answered in ways we thought would please her.
After resting near the shore, we set sail in the morning, only to be caught in a violent storm that tossed us for two days. On the third day, we encountered the Colocynthopiratans. These wild men, who preyed on travelers, used large gourds, about three meters long, as their ships. They hollowed out the gourds and used the rinds as boats, with masts made of reeds and sails of gourd leaves.
They attacked us with two ships, wounding many of us by throwing gourd seeds instead of stones. The battle was evenly matched until noon, when we saw the Caryonautans approaching. The Colocynthopiratans turned to fight their enemies, giving us the chance to hoist our sails and escape. The Caryonautans, with five well-furnished ships made from split and cleaned nutshells, each about 27 meters long, likely won the day due to their superior numbers and more robust vessels.
When we were out of sight of the battle, we tended to our wounded men and decided to stay armed at all times, fearing another sudden attack. This caution was justified because, before sunset, we were approached by about twenty more pirates riding on massive dolphins that carried them securely. These dolphins neighed like horses when ridden. As they neared, the pirates split into two groups and began hurling dried cuttlefish and sea crab eyes at us. We fought back, injuring several of them, which caused them to retreat to the island, most of them wounded.
Around midnight, in calm seas, we unexpectedly encountered a massive halcyon’s nest, about 12 kilometers in circumference, where the halcyon herself was nesting. She was nearly the size of the nest, and when she spread her wings, the gust almost capsized our ship, accompanied by her mournful cries as she flew.
At dawn, we climbed onto the nest and discovered it was constructed like a large barge woven together with trees. Inside were 500 eggs, each more prominent than a Chios tun and close to hatching, with visible, chirping chicks inside. Using an axe, we cut open one egg and found a featherless chick that was already larger than twenty vultures.
About 37 kilometers away from the nest, we encountered alarming omens. The carved goose ornament on our ship’s stern suddenly sprouted feathers and began to cry. Scintharus, our bald pilot, instantly grew a full head of hair. Most bizarrely, our ship's mast began sprouting branches and bearing unripe figs and grapes. Disturbed by these signs, we prayed to the gods to avert any impending disaster.
After traveling another 92 kilometers, we came upon what seemed to be a vast forest of pine and cypress trees. It appeared to be land, but it was a sea of immense depth with floating trees that stood firm and upright on the water without roots. We were at a loss, as navigating through the dense trees was impossible, and turning back safely seemed equally unlikely.
I climbed to the top of the highest tree to see what lay beyond. The forest stretched about 9 kilometers, and I saw another ocean beyond it. We decided to try lifting our ship onto the dense tree leaves and cross to the other ocean. Using a solid cable, we wrapped it around the tree tops and managed, with great effort, to hoist our ship up and place it on the branches. We then spread our sails, and with the help of the wind, we moved forward, dragging the boat along the treetops. This reminded me of a verse by the poet Antimachus about sailing over the tops of trees.
Once we crossed the forest and reached the sea again, we lowered our ship as we had raised it. We sailed on clear waters until we came to a massive gulf or trench in the sea, resembling the great clefts seen on land after earthquakes. We struck sail, and our ship halted abruptly at the edge of the trench, which seemed to be about 185 kilometers deep, a terrifying sight. The water appeared to be divided into two parts. Looking to our right, we saw a water bridge connecting the two sides. We rowed towards it with considerable effort and crossed over, much to our relief.
A calm sea greeted us on the other side, and we found an island inhabited by wild men called Bucephalians, who had horns on their heads like the Minotaur. We went ashore searching for fresh water and provisions, as ours were depleted. We found water but nothing else. We heard loud bellowing and roaring nearby, which we thought might be a herd of cattle. As we approached, we encountered the Bucephalians. They chased us back, capturing three of our crew while the rest fled to the sea.
Determined not to leave our friends unavenged, we armed ourselves and attacked the Bucephalians as they were dividing the bodies of our slain comrades. We put them to flight, killed fifty, and captured two alive. However, we found no food. The crew wanted to kill the prisoners, but I suggested we keep them as hostages until the Bucephalians sent ambassadors to ransom them. This indeed happened. By their nodding heads and mournful lowing, I understood their request.
We agreed on a ransom of various cheeses, dried fish, onions, and four three-legged deer (two legs behind and one in front). We released the captives on these terms and left the next day. Soon after, we saw signs of approaching land: fish in the sea, birds flying overhead, and other familiar sights.
We then encountered a novel form of navigation: men traveling on the sea using their bodies as both ship and sailor. They lay on their backs in the water, using their large, erect, privy members as masts to which they attached sails. Holding the ropes in their hands, they let the wind carry them wherever they wished.
After these followed others riding on cork chariots, pulled by two yoked dolphins, which they drove like coachmen. These travelers did not offer us any harm, nor did they avoid us. Instead, they peacefully accompanied us, marveling at the size of our ship and examining it from all sides.
In the evening, we arrived at a small island inhabited only by women who spoke Greek. They greeted us warmly, shook our hands, and wore long mantles down to their feet, looking young and beautiful. The island was called Cabbalusa, and the city was named Hydramardia. The women welcomed us, each taking one of us as a guest. However, I felt uneasy and noticed the bones and skulls of many men lying together in a corner. I decided not to alarm my crew or arm ourselves immediately. Instead, I took the mallow and prayed earnestly for protection.
Soon after, when one of the women came to attend to me, I noticed that she had the hoofs of an ass instead of human legs. I drew my sword, captured her, and questioned her. Reluctantly, she confessed they were sea women called Onosceleans, who fed on travelers. She explained that they would get their victims drunk, sleep with them, and then kill them in their sleep.
Upon hearing this, I left her bound and went to the house's roof, calling my crew to me. I told them everything I had learned and showed them the bones. I brought them to the woman I had tied up, but she suddenly turned into water and disappeared. However, it turned to blood when I thrust my sword into the water.
We hurried back to our ship and set sail. We saw the mainland at dawn, which we believed to be the country opposite our continent. We worshipped and prayed, then debated our next steps. Some suggested landing and returning to our ship, while others wanted to leave and explore inland to see how the inhabitants would react. During this discussion, a violent storm drove our boat against the shore, smashing it to pieces. We swam to land with great difficulty, each grabbing whatever we could.
I can recount these events, from our time at sea, our journey to the islands, our adventures in the air, our time inside the whale, and our experiences with the Heroes, the dreams, the Bucephalians, and the Onosceleans. What happened on land after this will be told in the following books.